So I took a surfing lesson today. While I always intended to try surfing sometime while we are here in Hawaii, it wasn’t on the top of my immediate must-do list or anything. I am out of shape due to a combination of laziness and a hard to regulate thyroid. My lack of fitness and my lack of gracefulness made this lesson rather difficult. Even at the height of my fitness I was never the most agile or balanced or quick on my feet, now as a clumsy chubby chick, I am even less agile. So I was bad at it, I only got up about three times, and those times only lasted a second or two. It was embarrassing.
That was the truly hard part. The embarrassment. It was more of a challenge than the actual surfing. I was mentally comparing myself to the others in our group, pressuring myself to measure up. Every word of encouragement from the instructors felt patronizing, when in reality they were just being nice. That’s also the underlying reason I was in no hurry to jump into surfing, its so big here, just gives me more opportunities to feel self conscious. But since Lauren is visiting and surfing is a bucket list thing for her, I wanted to try. So I am kind of glad I did it. I don’t want to avoid things because I feel self conscious, that it a hard habit to break once you get started.
So I am going to call it a win, those collective 5 seconds I spent actually (somewhat) upright on that surfboard. The fruity cocktails and fish tacos we had after were also a win.