So I have a new job, Yay! For someone who has wondered for years if my particular mix of strengths and weaknesses, as well as the fact that I have not been able to stay in one place very long, would ever pan out into a long term career, this certainly has some potential.
The only thing is this is a new position in a quickly evolving community, they are not sure how I will fit in. Part of that is awesome, I will have the freedom to tailor some processes as I see fit, design programs and make an impact on the community. Part of it is nerve wracking, as I will need to prove that my position is beneficial to the organizations bottom line. While this position seems like it could be a perfect fit for me, I should be able to develop and rely on my strengths, and set up my own systems for coping with my weaknesses, that doesn’t preclude me from getting plenty nervous.
You see, I had been trying to reconcile myself to the idea that I may never have a career, just jobs. Its the kind of thing you tell yourself when you stop expecting things to go your way, to make yourself okay with that. “Sure” you say, “I may always have dead end unfulfilling jobs, but there is more to life.” You then remind yourself that you have a loving husband, many loved ones across the US you have your plants, you can volunteer, and maybe you can move into an apartment that allows pets, maybe you can do more crafts off Pinterest.
And then an opportunity comes along that has the potential to be better than a cat and making stenciled curtains, but I have had great opportunities before, and then we moved, and moved again. The brain eventually decides to be skeptical of hope. My below the belly button Hawaiian intuition area is in need of some zen.