Andy is at work tonight, he planned a celebration for us in a few weeks… so we wait… again.
Last year Andy was at a job orientation in Virginia and I was back up in Pennsylvania getting our house packed up to move to California. Now we are in Honolulu, life is unpredictable like that.
Marriage teaches you things, Andy and I are extremely different in our interests and preferences, but we compromise. Sometimes the urge to be petty is strong, you consider going to a movie and think to yourself “isn’t it my turn to pick?” but then realize that you don’t care as much about any particular movie as he does. Little things like that happen. Fair and equal are only important if you care too much about them. You don’t have to care too much unless one or both of you is looking out for yourself first and your spouse second. And sometimes you will, both of you. Its not pretty when selfishness rears its ugly head, but it happens. Being married has let me see myself more clearly that I could have imagined that sunny, windy day three years ago. My understanding of Andy has changed too, as has my understanding of the promises we made. It would be to simplistic to say I was naive then and know more now, I have grown in ways I wouldn’t have if I hadn’t married Andy. And that’s what is supposed to happen, I guess; the evolution happens, and we try like hell to make it for the better.